Feeling Left Out?

Have you been in a conversation where others used jargon or acronyms, but you had no idea what they were talking about? Were you too embarrassed to ask? Did you prefer to remain ignorant? I’ve experienced this from childhood to adulthood, and the feeling is no less pleasant today. Kids, being kids, tend to be more obvious about pointing out an unfortunate peer’s lack of knowledge.

When I was in about 5^th grade, a new term phrase entered my world: “make out.” (To kiss and hug passionately. It may mean more now, but it was relatively tame back then!) At recess one day, I innocently inquired of a classmate about this strange idiom’s meaning. She wasted no time informing the rest of the class of my ignorance in the loudest way possible. I vowed then and there to never be put in that situation again. Of course, there was no internet then, so my research had to be a bit more involved, but I found out what I needed through trusted sources.

Unfortunately, this happens with grownups, too. Esoteric terminology is used by some people the same way those fifth-graders did: to hurt others, or, at least, to feel superior to them. The clique, the in crowd, the private club – these and many more human groupings seem to thrive on the separateness their language creates. This kind of thing can lead to an attitude towards “others” that makes it easier to slip into hate.

Sometimes, speakers may merely be unaware of the listener’s ignorance. After a long time of speaking to others with a similar foundation in their area of expertise, they may forget that there are plenty of folks without that knowledge. Then, jargon becomes a straightforward barrier to communication. If the listener is confident enough to admit his or her ignorance – and the speaker is considerate – then some explanation and definition will probably take place. In group settings, it is beholden on the speaker(s) to make sure the whole audience is on the same page.

So, what is the bottom line?

1.  Don’t tolerate the use of language solely to separate your group from others and prove your superiority. Of course, you sometimes need your own language to share knowledge about a craft like quilting or a hobby like coin collecting. But don’t use it as a bludgeon.
2. If you are communicating with people who may not know some of your terminology, be careful to include definitions or explanations – in a glossary or within the text of your speech or article.
3. Never embarrass someone who is not as fully versed in the jargon as you are. Consider the Golden Rule, and do what you would hope someone else would do for you in a similar situation.