Confessions of a Grammar Nazi

I’m a recovering Grammar Nazi. I have been having second thoughts about getting worked up about people’s misuse of the English language. Now, I’m not saying that I don’t value clarity and precision in language, but I am re-educating myself about the importance of these things, particularly in spoken or informal communication.

I’m turning over a new leaf. I have determined not to get angry when someone on Facebook uses “your” instead of “you’re,” says “alumni” instead of “alumnus,” misspells something, or says “me and Michelle” instead of “Michelle and I.” Putting aside what some of these things might say about the writer or speaker, it’s really not worth getting an ulcer over. My new perspective: does the intended message get delivered? If everyone understands what’s being said, isn’t that the real point?

Now, in written communication – particularly formal writing – I remain a stickler. Misspelled words and bad grammar say something about the author. And bosses, potential employers and other readers will definitely make judgements based on the quality of a person’s writing. Bad writing on a résumé or in a white paper, for example, is inexcusable.

I recently watched a TED Talk by Erin McKean entitled “Go Ahead, Make Up New Words!” Ms. McKean is a lexicographer (a dictionary writer), and she was addressing a youth audience. Her message was that new words have been added to our language for centuries. Why should that stop? Stealing words from other languages (“Feng shui”), using acronyms as words (“NASA”), back formation (“edit” derived from “editor”) – all of these are valid.

New words grab people’s attention, they allow us to express ourselves more precisely. There are no limits. If I find myself bristling when someone says “architecting” (a functional shift – a noun used as a verb), I need to ask myself, “Did everyone in that business setting understand what the speaker was saying?” That needs to be my new approach.

It’s already helping my stress level!

Use Your Words!

We’ve all heard it. “Studies show” that 93% of all spoken communication is non-verbal. But does that sound reasonable? That means that only 7% of our communication is our words. The remaining 93% is made up of body language (55%) and tone of voice (38%). We’ve bought this nonsense for years. People who should know better have accepted this hook, line and sinker: professors, public speakers, counselors. People whose careers are dependent on the spoken word.

I’m always a little wary of these all-knowing studies – especially ones that contradict common sense. It turns out there is good reason for skepticism. Albert Mehrabian performed the studies – two of them – at UCLA in 1967. In a 2009 blog on speakingaboutpresenting.com, Olivia Mitchell summarized the studies:

Mehrabian’s studies asked participants to judge the feelings of a speaker by listening to a recording of a single word spoken in different tones of voice. In the first study, the participants had to rate the feelings of the speaker after listening to each of nine different words. The words spoken were often inconsistent with the tone of voice used. For example, the word ‘brute’ spoken in a positive tone. Each time they had to make a rating just on the single word they had listened to.

In the second study, only one word was used. It was chosen to be as neutral as possible: the word was ‘maybe.’ They listened to a recording of the word ‘maybe’ said in different tones and at the same time were shown photos of different facial expressions.

The experiments were never intended to measure how well the listeners understood what the speaker was trying to communicate.

Since the original studies, there have been numerous critiques of the methodology of the research and its application to real world situations. Unfortunately, the research has continued to be misused by so-called public speaking and presentation experts.

Even Professor Mehrabian has said that his findings have been wrongly applied. In 2002, he stated, “I am obviously uncomfortable about misquotes of my work. From the very beginning I have tried to give people the correct limitations of my findings. Unfortunately, the field of self-styled ‘corporate image consultants’ or ‘leadership consultants’ has numerous practitioners with very little psychological expertise.”

Most damning, perhaps, are these pointed questions posed to Mehrebian study misusers by Max Atkinson on his blog (maxatkinson.blogspot.com):

1. How come it's much easier to have a conversation with a blind person than with someone who's completely deaf?
2. How come we can have perfectly good conversations in the dark?
3. How come telephones and radio have been such spectacular successes?
4. How come we have to work so hard to learn foreign languages?

Simply put, body language and tone of voice are important in any spoken communication, of course. But they don’t beat well-chosen and well-presented words. Use your words!

A Failure to Communicate

A Failure to Communicate

What we’ve got here is a failure to communicate.

         – Captain, Cool Hand Luke

The single biggest problem in communication

is the illusion that it has taken place.

           - George Bernard Shaw